The start date for the September challenge came and went and I didn’t eat well, or go to the gym. I’m trying to find out why I am not doing what is needed to be done. I want to change.
I have this thought though. What happens if I lose all of the weight and nothing changes? What happens if I get down to my goal weight, and I am not happy, or people don’t change the way they treat me? Is this what is really preventing me from committing to the program? Honestly I think it is.
I am so in my head about what if, but I need to accept that if things don’t change, that everything will be okay. So is this why I am getting in my own way? Is this the real reason why I am not being 100% or even 80%? The program that I signed up for works. It works for a lot of people and it is a lifestyle change.
You are seeing your dietitian and therapist who are there to help you. Do what you need to do and quit getting into your head. Just show up. If things don’t change, then accept it and create a new life for yourself surrounded by people who matter. You don’t need approval from strangers. You only need approval from yourself.
Remember, your worth is not determined by your weight. You are more than your outward appearance, and the stupid number on the scale. You have people who love you, and once you learn to love yourself, you won’t need anything from anyone. Become the woman you desire to be. If things don’t change, don’t stress over it. When you reach that point, address it, but for now take things day by day, meal by meal.